This is terribly hard to write. I've been battling with myself all week to get up enough strength to do so, but the pain has been so deep and all but unbearable.
One fall day in 2000, I came home to find an
ezboard private message from a young man in Houston, TX. He had found a small female cat running the streets near his apartment complex and had coaxed her into his home. He kept her separated from his cats and took her to the vet as soon as he was able. The devastating news came all too soon. She tested positive for Feline Leukemia. The young man couldn't keep her because of his healthy cats and asked if I knew of anyone who had a FeLV colony who could take her.
When I mentioned the cat to an online friend, Sharlene Skadberg, she immediately got in contact with the young man. Sharlene met him, brought the young cat into her home, gave her excellent vet care, good food, and lots of toys. She named her Susie. I was so proud and deeply honored - a needy little cat who desperately needed a safe haven to live out her life had been named after me.
How little Susie thrived. She seemed to absolutely bloom under Sharlene and Hal's care. During the last 18 months, Craig and I received so many wonderful pictures of our little girl.
A few times Susie would become listless and would catch URIs. Last month she just seemed to lose interest in all around her. She wasn't alert, no longer played and no longer seemed to enjoy life like healthy cats do. We knew that her time was short. Finally, last weekend, Shar had to make THE decision.
If there is one thing I could have had since knowing of her, it would have been to hold my Susie just once, to stroke her glossy coat and to look into her beautiful green eyes. But it wasn't meant to be. However, I'm so grateful that Susie had a chance to live a normal life in a loving, secure, and happy home.
Susie, I miss you so. No more updates on your playful antics, no more pictures arriving on a regular basis. But know how much you meant to Craig and me, to Sharlene and Hal. You will always have a special corner deep in our hearts. You will always be part of us. Until we met at the Bridge, Little One ...
The following poem seems so appropriate, as though Susie is speaking to Shar and me.
I Never Went Away
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I purred to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea,
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.
It's possible for me, to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew ...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over ... I smile and watch you yawning
And say "Goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.
~
Author Unknown ~